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Our Thoughts Define Us..
Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are
Malcolm Forbes
Our fast paced world of information overload and obligations; pings, beeps and buzzes, society unashamedly abuses its influence and for the most part succeeds in foisting unnecessary consumerism and the ‘perfect’ self image on us.
Social media bombards us with their promises… be the next influencer! , reach 1 million likes! try our latest skincare products! Bulk up with this new protein powder! Buy my book ! Take another course here!… Amidst all the noise, when was the last time you unplugged?
When last have you reflected on where you are and what YOU wanted to do (not what your boss, family and friends, Instagram or Tik Tok thinks you should be doing, trying or buying)
The definition of self-concept embodies a series of beliefs or ideas one holds of himself; an awareness of one’s self.
This can have a negative or positive effect on self-esteem, image and can possibly sabotage the fruition of the ideal self (Dinesh & Kiran, 2018).
Long before theorists such as Erikson, Freud and Rogers penned their perspectives on the self, it was God who identified the underlying principles of self-concept; perception and belief.
Even French Philosopher Rene Descartes famously quoted “Cogito, Ergo Sum”, I think therefore I am.
The sentiment discloses the power of the human mind and its subsequent thought processes.
Self-concept can be formulated from three aspects; learning, organization, and dynamics.
It should be known as humans we are constantly adjusting and learning even before birth.
Hence, the self can be shaped to suit the needs of any environment positive or negative.
Prime examples would include your family’s values, cultural customs, and expectations which are typically derived from societal norms; gender, class, etc.
Now ponder this, many factors influence a person’s thought process, especially parental pressures, peers, the media, and so on.
Have you ever wondered why words spoken to you since childhood ( also known as your life script) continue to resound in your thoughts in adulthood?
This is the frailty and impressionism of ‘self’ and many of you reading this can easily decipher if these words spoken to you inspired trust, empowerment and resilience “Good job!, I’m so proud of you!” Or may have subjected you to a constant emotional cycle of pain, shame and doubt…” You can’t do anything right!, You are too fat!, Only 95%?….why not 100?!”
What is self-concept?
People generally use self-concept and self-esteem interchangeably. However, self-esteem is not self-concept.
Self-concept is the overarching existence of the person; composed of image, the ideal self, and esteem.
Self-esteem is the value that the person has assigned to themselves, in essence, their worth.
Self-concept is a mental image of who you are as a human, based on the individual interpretations of our attitudes, skill, and specific characteristics.
Beliefs like “I am a good friend” or “I am a kind person,” for example, are all part of self-concept. It aids us in visualizing who we are mentally, socially, and emotionally.
Through it, we can draw a mental image of ourselves. Our self-concept is shaped and developed over time. Our experiences with our immediate environment form and affect it.
When people are younger, and still in the process of self-discovery and identity-forming, their self-concept is more malleable.
As people grow older, their self-perceptions become more detailed and structured as they gain a greater understanding of who they really are and what matters most to them.
Take a closer look
Self-concept is learned
Self-concept develops progressively, early in life and is continually influenced by one’s perceived experiences during life.
This suggests that a person’s self-concept is a social construct of one’s life experiences.
It is possible that one’s self-concept differs from how others view him or her, and this differs at various stages of life.
When a person is confronted with a thing that contradicts his or her self-concept, the person perceives the experience as a threat.
The more challenging interactions one has, the more static one’s self-concept becomes.
In general, people overgeneralize, overthink, or rationalize their experiences in order to lessen the emotional turmoil caused.
Self-concept is organized
In order to maintain harmony; people establish a stable self-concept. Our self-concept is well-organized, categorized by experiences and layers them into a pattern that makes sense for our development. Since it is impossible to categorize, it excludes interactions that present a variety of beliefs and values. Change is something that our self-concept wants to avoid because it disrupts personal stability. If you have a firm conviction that “English is the country’s primary language, and everybody can learn to speak and write it, therefore billboards and signs in other languages have no purpose.” The reasoning speaks to self thereby making this idea priority encouraging a more closed off approach to learning while limiting the knowledge base and any possible enhancement of skills.
Self-concept is dynamic
Self-concepts are dynamic since they are consciously developed based on one’s experiences.
The self-concept can be thought of as a guidance system that directs your behavior to fit your beliefs.
An employee may say, “My company does not do what it preaches to include diversity and inclusion. It says one thing and does something entirely different.”
On a corporate level, the institution can have a different perception of itself, defending its self-concept.
There is generally a distinct gap between their understanding of themselves and what others believe they are.
Employee complaints can be rationalized or bent to suit the image of organization and its leadership resulting in a company that may refuse to step into the corporate social responsibilities of a 21st century organization.
In psychology, this is known as cognitive dissonance; the reason for one’s views despite the evidence clearly shows the contrary.
Components of Self-concept
Carl Rogers, the forefather of humanistic psychology proposed that self-concept had three components:
- Self-image
Essentially the way in which we see ourselves: our physical characteristics (e.g., black hair, brown eyes, height), our personality traits (kind, outgoing or serious), and our social roles (e.g., employee, wife, father) all contribute to such.
At times, self-image does not always correspond with reality.
People tend to have an exaggerated view of one or more of their characteristics which they seem unacceptable.
Illustrations include those with anorexia that perpetuate a damaging self-image of obesity and a pressing need to belong.
- Self-esteem
It is referred to as the importance we put on ourselves.
The way we judge ourselves determines our individual levels of esteem.
These assessments take into account both our own personal similarities to others and people’s reaction to us.
When we compare ourselves to others and discover that we are great at something or people take pleasure in said action (such as singing), it boosts our sense of worth.
While on the other hand, negative reactions decrease our ability to self love and appreciate ourselves.
Resulting in negative thinking “people don’t like me much” or quite the opposite “I am an excellent athlete”.
- Ideal self
Ideal self represents the perfect balance of an individual’s cognitive, emotional, functional and moral self.
It can be merged with theories by Sigmund Freud, Carl Rogers, Abraham Maslow, Erik Erikson, and Lawrence Kohlberg.
This ‘perfected’ version of ourselves often comes with a disparity between what actually is (alcoholic) and what a person think’s they are (upstanding citizen).
Such discrepancies can have negative effects, in that, self-image and the ideal self, according to Carl Rogers, can be congruent or incongruent.
Achieving congruence is difficult but not impossible, to enable self-actualization.
Any inconsistencies between one’s ideal self and one’s self-image indicates a disconnect between self and experience, resulting in further internal conflict (or cognitive dissonance) which in most cases, hinders actualization process.
One aspect that has been lost in the noise of life:
- Spiritual Self
One should consider that self-concept and spirituality go hand in hand. Insight to one’s self can be based on feedback from friends, family, and acquaintances, which may be fine but the ultimate sounding board should be God.
It is introspection, views of God, as well as perception of evil that merge to shape self-image; healthy or not (Seamands, 2015)
One should be aware that your view of God, shapes your view of ‘self’ (McCann, 2012) For instance, in Taoism constant meditation on Buddha keeps individuals spiritually balanced and unaffected by emotional, behavioral or cognitive issues.
American clinical psychologist John Welwood called this the spiritual bypass as it cements a positive self-concept ensuring the focus no longer stays on them but on a higher entity reminiscent of Isaiah 26: 3-4 (KJV) keeping one’s mind on Christ as a means of maintaining a peaceful mind.
The spiritual bypass represents the biblical pattern of meditation used by Jesus Christ.
Who was the first being to show the world how to engage in mindfulness-based therapy (Plante, 2012)
How do YOU see You?
As a man thinketh in his heart so is he
Genesis 1:27 (KJV)
While improving one’s self is laudable, it does not augur well to lose sight of who you genuinely are.
The question is … are you cognizant of your true self?
We have all been given some unique trait, talent or ability that sets us apart from the rest, so why try so hard to fit in?
Yes, we are aware of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs and achieving a sense of belonging but appreciating you for who you are and not what people think you should be.
The barrage of news, events and ads constantly assault us, much like water eroding rock, that it becomes much easier to shed our born identity to don what many perceive to be the ultimate selfie, that ideal person that everyone wants … that ‘perfect’ person.
Yet, with this change comes many challenges, since to deny true self is to live in a world of chaos and torment.
Do your ‘self’ a favor and stand out in the crowd.
So let me take a Selfie!
In conclusion, appreciating your ‘self’ is crucial closely tied to your personal opinions and evaluations.
Your concept is related to your esteem, which is connected to your worth.
This self-worth and self-esteem are what determine your life experience.
Therefore, positive self-concept is very important as it gives rise to healthy self-esteem, resulting in acceptance and later love, which is precisely what we all need in our lives!
Even if you think of yourself as a cracked water pot, consider this… you still have the capacity to hold water, the water seeping from those cracks can water flowers or feed into streams resulting in a mighty ocean! It all depends on perception.
When one seeks perfection in an imperfect form it leads to frustration, depression and little self-worth.
To remedy such, people should ponder Isaiah’s advice, the blueprint of a spiritual bypass and even more so know that our own flaws have invariably made us as unique as a fingerprint.
Thank you for visiting our site, feel free to leave a comment or two about your ‘self’ discoveries!
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